The Death of an era…. Regaining my throne

so many times to i sit and stare at my computer screen, work home or at school, always pondering the what ifs or the whens and whys but not any more, its not my fault that i couldn’t save my mother, its not my fault that i couldn’t save joe, for to long have i regretted not going to my mothers house the weekend she died i was less then ten min away the whole time, or  not answering my phone when it rings. regardless of the what ifs somethings happen that i can not control, i have built a shell around myself that has damaged me to much. in ways that are deeper than just not coming around or sheltering my self, it has hurt me in ways that i have never imagined. i am not a product of my environment i have no shoes set before me to fill, i must pour the path i walk on. i must be the one who makes a way for my children.  my feelings have roamed for to long now its time for me to get control. since my mother has died i have said it many times that i have lost my sense of purpose my direction broken. its been 2 years since i have been able to walk with my head up and be proud of who i am, yet i still walk. its time for me to reclaim myself be the man i am supposed to be.

its time. ….

……..

~ by Wes on March 14, 2009.