Pulse. impulse and everything between.

IMPULSE: well its been a way to start off the new year. my divorce was finalized in January i moved from utah county to salt lake city. watched as my family tore its self apart, their influence by angst has pushed me farther back from where i want to be. i used to go to my moms house to see my niece and check up on my mom. though she thought i was only there just to see teona i never told her i was there to see her, now its almost too late- after defending the same family that pushes me away i am the bad guy in this situation my sisters world is crashing down around her and yet its easy for her to blame the same people she sabotages. having back surgery isn’t fun though i try to push my self every day seems like i overdue it so i think im going to let my wounds heal and my back heal as well and take time to finish a project that is very difficult to for me to do “Cold November” its hard writing about things that have such an impact on me. for months i have been consumed by the very hate my family breeds but not any more i am cutting all negative ties that have bounded me whether it be family life love or things in between my impulses have made choices for me before lately i have let those impulses be ignored … not any more so its time for me to take my time and heal body and mind, ink my thoughts with the thin strips of emotion. i will be back, i will heal i will be better that i ever have been. so instead of saying fuck you to my problems im saying a BIG FUCK YOU and doing what needs to be done.PULSE: maybe a chemical imbalance, my thoughts run rampant sometimes i try to run away but in the end it catches up with me. the weaker me would stop and not move forward but just stay in that content zone afraid of what might be or what could have been. yesterday was that new day and it was the day time for me stood still. changing of pace, reversing a heart beat, fuck the light or brighter path, i wont wallow in my regrets but get past them with what i have left. i will unplug my cords….And goAnd everything between.its been awhile since i have wrote down my thoughts
or what ever you want to call it.
take a ton of emotions, words, time and alot of
obstacles put them in a blender and thats what ive
been up to lately. and how i feel lately
today i found out im having a baby boy, i wanted a girl but had other plans for me i guess. lets see my mother passed away, i had my back surgery some of you already know that. a friend killed himself and my girlfriends dad has passed
away on thanksgiving, lost a really close friend cause of his wife.
on top of all this its christmas. i say this every year but FUCK holidays
Fuck 2007 Fuck everything. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH
lets see what 2008 brings. i know i am having a boy same month my mom died

So i am doing a photoshoot for Separation of self, machine head, and cavityburn Monday The 12 Feb 2007

at club vegas* if you actually read this show up.

INVICTUS.

Invictus
by William Ernest Henley; 1849-1903

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul

PHOTOS GALORE

i will have a montage of photos i have done up soon. sit tight

Update** i will have some new photos up along with the ones i promised up there **

just getting some projects finished first.

ok so i have alot of stuff to post but i havent had the time to sit down and post it.

sit tight monkeys i will have it done soon.

LAST NIGHT * short film (complete)

what can i say this is my baby, my company that is growing with freelance splendidness which i dont think its a real word but i will make illustrations or even photoshop my photos. maybe even throw a link to my movie im filming the rest of the summer..

update on this film

last night was completed some monts ago. copies went quick

if you would like a copy.  i will get one to you cost of 10 bucks. for material.

the film is a great short film about over coming those skeletons in the closet.

 we all experince break downs in our life all of us has been in a spot that we are unsure of the outcome. we all let mundane things in life pass us by or even forget to look out the window to see a sunset. maybe rushing to work and dmeont take time to see a sunrise, or acknoledge a simple hello it is weird how some things so simple could change the way we percieve things. “wes” (The director)

check it out. i might get a link to see the movie on the web soon. if i get some time off

Year 2007 Spring Projects

Working with: Separation of Self’s Next album, album artwork, Photographs. maybe some film. also photographs at local shows, and in the studio. also i will be bringing along the newbie for aside graphix to do some filming.

Writing a new Movie called “Cold November” although i wont give any information out about this just yet i will say that it will be a great story.

Concept Art work for a game called  “Scratch Attack” i will be working with a small team. my work will include concept art, final character design, Logo, background art.

Also i am proud to announce a new member to my design company  A-Side Graphix, *fernanda* she is the shit. remember that write it down if you need to.

i have a project i will be working on with her. its a personal project for her so i wont say anything about it.

Seceret Agenda

Secret AgendaSeems the system has forgot about me, All I know are the numbers of the futureAuthorities, conform, Restore, Kill The fire inside that burns through meAmbition is an excuse for you to use against me Sometimes I want to go were the world.Does not know me, crawl out of my skin andBe no one for a while, ink my thought with A powerful image, chasing vanishing footsteps  

All I do is close my eyes and diveMy secret agenda has taken control Pushing my limits and it keeps slipping Away from me, I open your eyes and see the Damage I could have done 

Try to erase all those thoughts outOf my head, touching life and seeing The world in its new, breathingWatching, waiting my endless Will push the silence down